Shower Monsters!

Hey guys!
I was in the shower , and I got some soap in my eye...
I know, it kills. It literally feels like getting lemon juice in a small cut on your finger. In other words, it hurt alot!
I was just thinking, every time I get soap in my eye, I face my back away from the shower door, and close my eyes, but every time that happens, I feel like someone is watching me. Its leaving your back for anything to attack you, like the girl from the ring, or the little kid from the Grudge, or an evil dolphin empire!
... Maybe not a dolphin empire, but you know what I mean.
But what do I always do when I feel this? Open my eyes mid-soapy! And this hurts SO MUCH!
And I cant see any monsters or murderers when my eyes eventually open, oh no... I cant see anything!
Why do company's put "no tears" on the bottles, its evil!

Shower Stuff  I admit it, I sing in the shower. But I'm pretty sure its not just me who hears myself, and thinks "wow, why aren't I famous yet!"
Don't worry, my friends, we need to be discovered! Hey, we could make our own band!!
Lets call it: Shower Buddies... Wait, lets not!

The next shower thing? Using all of the conditioner. Girls, you would understand. Let me just praise those people who can finish both the shampoo and conditioner bottles at the same time!

Am I the only one that manages to pull every bit of my hair out in the shower? By the end of it, I look like Golem (Lord Of The Rings / The Hobbit), the only thing that's missing is my precious!!
Do you see it; The messed up, and dripping mascara, the loss of hair, the wrinckles on my hans and feet? But I will say, Golem has beautiful eyes, has anyone picked up on that?